I work in marketing, which is nobody's definition of a cool job. I’m in an office Slack channel with a few of my coworkers who, like me, used to work as writers for “cool” downtown magazines, which don’t make money and don’t pay well and therefore anyone without a trust fund must eventually move on to less “cool” jobs. It’s a catch-22. Anyways, the primary use of this slack channel is to share articles and tweets and, of course, shit talk. The majority of the shit talking revolves around niche little phenomenons and trends and “relevant people” that appeal to a specific subsection of people who are both hyper-aware of the downtown New York fashion, art, and cultural scenes, but far enough removed from it to criticize it from the outside (read: self-proclaimed as cooler than those who don’t see how lame it is).
The other day I found myself engaging in a conversation where my coworkers and I were shit talking the writer Ottessa Moshfegh, and I was feeling slightly embarrassed because I like her writing and could care less about whatever else she’s involved in. A few days later, the same coworker who started the Moshfegh hate discussion casually mentioned that he really enjoyed her work. I realized that all of us were being hypocritical in these shit-talk seshes.
This is a recurring situation in group settings. I find myself judging, shitting on, mocking trends and activities that I actually enjoy, I feel pressure to be self-deprecating, to downplay my interests, worried the people around me will realize I’m actually pretty lame. I find myself judging people who unabashedly enjoy things. I hate NYC Tiktokers for this. What do you mean you aren’t cloaking your existence in irony? You’re supposed to be self-aware. You’re supposed to hate everything. You’re supposed to be jaded, not romantic. Sincerity is for people who aren’t “in the know”. Or whatever.
Irony cloaks everything Gen Z does. Being a Zoomer can be an exhausting experience. Socialization happens primarily online, where you’re not only affronted with discourse of the constant chaos of pandemics, growing economic insecurity, and climate change, but you’re also pressured to “brand” yourself. Showing interest is not enough, you must show interest in the right way, with the right look. Increasingly, the cultural response to this alienation and virtual pressure is by becoming “blackpilled” — a nihilistic hedonism amidst the knowledge of imminent world catastrophe. Basically young people feel defeated. Where they once seemed to be overtly caring, they are now shrugging their shoulders. Those who marched against Trump and tweeted notes app screenshots about local injustices now “ironically” look to catholicism or proclaim themselves as a-political or tweet the word “retard”. Everything is wack, who cares? It’s all a big inside-joke. I want to touch more on this phenomenon, but I’ll save that for another day.
The generational shrug doesn’t end at political views or caring. Self-depreciating memes flood the internet. Neighborhoods, restaurants, brands are all at risk of getting the Gen Z irony treatment. Dime’s Square for example, exists both as a huge inside joke, with memes about the popular restaurant “Dimes'' and the people who frequent Clandestino, as well as a place where people involved in the “scene” (if you can call it that) actually hangout. The idea is that these niche meme references only make sense to a select group of “cool kids”, and if you get it, you’re one of them. If you like something in sincerity— I’m sorry to say, but you’re not one of the “cool kids”. You’re trespassing. You’re the butt of the joke. But the memes are popular because these places are popular, and people do enjoy them, even if (oftentimes) that enjoyment is hidden under layers of memes and tweets like “Not me eating brunch at Dimes🤪”.
The charade is tiring. What’s in? What’s out? Is it lame to go to Carmelos or Clockwork, or is it “cool” so long as you only go in an ironic, this-place-is-so-lame hehe sk8r boy meme🤪” way? Do we actually hate Ottessa Moshfegh, or are we just saying that to set ourselves apart from the “normies” who enjoy things without an addendum? If we’re always doing something to be 🤪goofy🤪, I think that means we just actually like whatever we’re doing. And that's okay. There’s no need to hide under irony, we’re allowed to just enjoy things.
For Gen Z, irony is an attempt to prove that you’re self-aware, that you get it on a level deeper than those who merely consume the content. There’s some sort of academic merit in being able to consume something and then critique it. My suggestion however, is that not every is that deep. If we’re going to critique anything, let's critique real thoughts and ideas (like the idea that irony equates to coolness or intelligence) instead of critiquing the clientele of your favorite-to-hate bar or restaurant in lower Manhattan or Bushwick.
Let me talk about myself now. Recently my mental health has been… uhhhh not so great. To say the least. When I’m not doing well I often find myself wishing I was a kid again. I find myself latching on to the deepseed childlike innocence in my psyche. I have this overwhelming desire to experience simple happiness. I watch cat videos and squeeze stuffed animals and smile at cute pens. I realize that what I am really striving for is the ability to view the world without a cloud of irony around it. I am embarrassed by this desire. The other day I built a box of lego flowers that my sister had gifted me for Christmas a few years ago. Doing so was probably the most fun I’d had in a while. I was embarrassed about enjoying it. I wanted to defend myself, “it was so lame”, “The box was just lying around”, “I didn’t buy them for myself”. It wasn’t lame though. And I’ll probably buy more to build because it was fun and therapeutic and I’m allowed to just do things I enjoy. I don’t need to participate in personifying some personal brand of cool I’ve decided on. The fact that even in my own home I feel motivated to only participate in the activities or interests deemed as self-aware and cool and trendy is the most embarrassing part of it all.
Constantly interacting with negative people is exhausting. If you've ever had a friend or partner who just never seems to be happy, you know it to be true. Upon doing some self-reflection, I’ve come to realize that me and my judginess is a consistent source of negativity. I can’t stand people who critique me when it doesn’t affect them. Yet, I secretly critique everyone around me, including myself. Subconsciously diminishing my interests by veiling it in irony and self-deprecation is a negative interaction within myself. It’s trained me to believe that I’m inherently both better than some and simultaneously worse than others based simply on my ability to hide my likes and dislikes behind self-depreciation. It also makes me insecure to enjoy anything without a disclaimer. Enjoying marvel movies is not indicative of someone’s character, but the need to express that a clothing store and its clientele is lame is indicative of someone’s character— and it doesn’t say anything good.
So, what I’m asking is, what service does irony truly serve? Is this coping mechanism actually hurting us? Is being a hater affecting our ability to be happy?
I think it is, but I probably won’t change.